Monday, May 16, 2011
Starting Small
Friday, May 13, 2011
15 Failed Operas
So I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.
Maybe more than a bit (btw, to do lists should probably be a big no-no for me. They get impossibly long and binding....and I get rather, well, frustrated).
And I keep looking at my art and it's slow progress, the lack of time I have for it; and I feel like a total failure. Then I look back at the times in the past where I felt like a total failure; and I realize that I was producing WAY more work then than I am now. Then I REALLY feel like a total failure. Artistically anyway.
And I'm reading this book. (I'm always reading some book. I'm beginning to wonder if I ever actually have any original thoughts because I begin so many sentences with 'So, I'm reading this book.....' Then I remember I'm a painter so it doesn't really matter if I quote a lot of books.) In the book, it says that Verdi wrote 15 epic fail operas before Rigoletto. And he was 38 when Rigoletto finally made it. So I realize: I'm good. I have like 10 years to write 15 operas. That is totally doable. In 11 years, maybe I'll be a failure. But I have a lot of time before I find that out. I just need to keep working. Keeping making those little things that fail and hope they turn into bigger things that fail. And then hope that they multiply into more things that fail. We'll see how I feel about them all failing in the morning, but I think that I can do this keep on trying thing. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm also artistically really young. I'm ok with still being a little lost.
Meanwhile, I really want to name my next body of work '15 Failed Operas'.
Maybe more than a bit (btw, to do lists should probably be a big no-no for me. They get impossibly long and binding....and I get rather, well, frustrated).
And I keep looking at my art and it's slow progress, the lack of time I have for it; and I feel like a total failure. Then I look back at the times in the past where I felt like a total failure; and I realize that I was producing WAY more work then than I am now. Then I REALLY feel like a total failure. Artistically anyway.
And I'm reading this book. (I'm always reading some book. I'm beginning to wonder if I ever actually have any original thoughts because I begin so many sentences with 'So, I'm reading this book.....' Then I remember I'm a painter so it doesn't really matter if I quote a lot of books.) In the book, it says that Verdi wrote 15 epic fail operas before Rigoletto. And he was 38 when Rigoletto finally made it. So I realize: I'm good. I have like 10 years to write 15 operas. That is totally doable. In 11 years, maybe I'll be a failure. But I have a lot of time before I find that out. I just need to keep working. Keeping making those little things that fail and hope they turn into bigger things that fail. And then hope that they multiply into more things that fail. We'll see how I feel about them all failing in the morning, but I think that I can do this keep on trying thing. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm also artistically really young. I'm ok with still being a little lost.
Meanwhile, I really want to name my next body of work '15 Failed Operas'.
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