So I'm sitting on the couch with the dog, watching whatever autoplay on hulu brings up (Autoplay is both a blessing and a curse. I'm *totes* the first person ever to have that realization right?) and I realize that I don't LIKE to do anything lately. I'm indifferent toward everything. Maybe it's just the season, maybe it is that I'm tired, but I don't at all like that in the back of my head, there is a list of things I need to do and should do, but nothing that I want to do.
Once upon a time (and still my first instinct) is to shout The Depression! It closes in! I shall battle it with the sword! But I think at this point in my life, in this case, that is simply a comfortable, non-challenging answer. Yes, I still need to guard against that- it would be easy to let apathy and laziness pull me down into depression. However, what I think is fueling my apathy in this case is a profound feeling of not enough time.
My husband often tells me that everyone feels this way and I need to get over myself. That is probably completely true. But lately I feel like there isn't even enough time to start on something that will make me happy. And worse yet, if I do start on it and -heaven forbid- can't finish it in one evening or one weekend (or it prevents me from doing somthing that prevents our apartment from smelling like the trash can or the litter box), this thing that I really really wanted to do and was excited about becomes yet another panic inducing item on my to do list. And the cycle begins again.
So how do I keep the excitement-- how do I keep a project from continuing to be something I ReAlLy!! want to do? How do I stay motivated and not lose myself in this giant labyrinthian to-do list?
No seriously. I'm genuinely asking.
And I know I don't have a readership and I'm pretty sure I should be asking this in prayer but, spoiler alert, prayer also feel like a giant item on my to do list. So does playing with my dog. What the effff do I do about this?
Meanwhile, to remind myself there is hope and light in the world, here is a dalek scarf I made::
